Walking back from running away

Today I decided to get out of myself.  What I mean is that I felt safe enough not to indulge in my self, not to be selfish.  The title of my post means that I have ran away from my past relationship in order to protect myself.  Now I have came back to a certain degree.

When I heard The Good Life Project podcast What Do You Want To Do Before You Die? I realized how life sucking depression is and how I could help make a small difference by offering my presence to the one I was once intimately connected to.  Ben Nemtin who was interviewed in the podcast, inspired me to reach out to Kate right after hearing this.  I was grateful that I was able to leave behind my hurt and my sense of not-good-enough.  I was genuinely able offer my support.  I really surprised myself doing that for I did not have any painful tug when I talked to her.

I look to my desire is to be of service to others.  I know that I am not the one like those going out to the street to feed the homeless or basically anything that will "inconvenience" me to help others.  I am honest about that for I know that about myself.  I have done things to help others by going through the motions and realized that I was not really helping them nor I was really not helping myself.

This podcast reinforced my desire to be in service but also it reinforced my motivation.  Ben's endeavor highlighted that where he and his friends went on this road trip to fulfill their bucket list but it was essential that they helped others along the way.  They got to feed their joy as well as be in service to others.  A win-win.  I was glad that Kate received my offer with joyful relief and acceptance.  She knew that there were no strings attached.  This reinforced to me that the continual personal work I have done for myself, on myself to be authentic shows through to others.  This is another "win" for me as well.

I love how I get inspired and it has this ripple effect.  Ben Nemtin and his friends has demonstrated that in spades with all they have done.  I hope this continues to build within me so that I can have the courage and wherewithal to make my inspirations into reality.