Living Life with No Regrets

I posted on my Facebook page a link to the top 5 regrets that people expressed on their deathbed.  I say “Duh” to them all since I have struggled with NOT regretting my life for decades.  Here is the last regret:  I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

This is the struggle I have had for a while.  As much as I work on choosing to be happy through a positive attitude, through being grateful, through appreciating people and the world around me, living in the present moment, and through nurturing friendships and staying connected with family, I find it a struggle to really be in my joy (see previous blog).  Rita Mae Brown’s quote points to the “why” of happiness but not so much the “how.”  ‎"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it." 

I am living my life as if I am going to die tomorrow (or today for that matter).  This blog is as good as any to list my funeral songs which I have compiled a while ago. Of course I want everyone to have the lyrics when these are played.  I’m not sure about my eulogy.  We had to write one for our Wings Lifeworks seminar.  I did not like it and want to write a new one.  I will do that on a future blog.  If I die before that then I will leave that up to my various family members and friends.  Thanks guys!

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement.  I was the bridegroom taking the world into my arms."  Mary Oliver

Not in any particular order … (the links are to YouTube vids of the songs)

1. Into the Light – In This Moment
2.  I Think Its Going to Rain Today – Bette Midler
3. Stay – Alison Krauss and Union Station
4. You Can Close Your Eyes – James Taylor
5. Goodbye My Friend  -Karla Bonoff
6. One Moment More – Mindy Smith
7. I Shall Not Walk Alone – Ben Harper – Blind Boys of Alabama
8. Free At Last – Blind Boys of Alabama
9. Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin
10. End with this  Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python (we can end on this one instead of the Bobby McFerrin one since that has been overplayed anyway)

The songs I considered but decided not to include are:

1.       Fix you – Young@Heart (not sure I want to include this but it was powerful in the context of the movie

2.       Who Knows Where the Time Goes? – Fairport Convention

3.       Down So Low – Linda Ronstadt

4.       Let the Mystery Be – Iris Dement
5.    Dance into the Light - Phil Collins

6.       Good Night – The Beatles

7.       Don’t Worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin (This would have been the closing song)

So any regrets besides that I am not living the life I am suppose to live in order fulfill my purpose?  I’ve been told that I should be a counselor, a healer, a spiritual coach.  I can imagine that.  What I cannot figure out how to get there from here even how to determine the baby steps to that end.  The answer is “no” I have no other regrets.  

I feel that I did the best I could as a father to my beautiful, caring, intelligent, funny, hard working children.  I did the best I could as a partner to Sandy.  I worked on my mindfulness with all my relationships, friends and family.  Wings was such a gift to me for that was when I worked on consciously embracing my authentic self (Regret #1 of the list from the website).

I guess the other regret was not laughing as much as I wanted to (see previous blog).  LOL (not quite the same I  know).

I HOPE YOU WILL COMMENT.  THANKS.