I have struggled most of my life in being in that place of joy, happiness or even satisfaction. I know that this is a First World dilemma but dammit I was born in one, to a middle class family who loved me, and got a first class education all the up to two graduate schools. I refuse to buy into the "be thankful for what you have because there are starving children in India." First of all, my Indian friend told me that his mother told him the same except she used the United States starving children as the exhortation. Second, I am not a starving child. I am me. I am living my life, not someone else's.
The Secret popularized the technique of manifesting what we desire just be "raising our vibration" and visualizing it. The vibration is our joy. The spirit channel Esther Hicks is someone who also popularizes this notion of attracting good fortune from being happy.
Now I am the last person to dis the notion of wanting to be happy however to focus on that one emotion and being made guilty that I am attaining my highest spiritual aspirations by not being in that highest vibrational nirvana does not work for me. I see that as a one dimensional approach to living. We have a range of emotions that are not positive, that are not high frequency. And sure, I do believe that we benefit by hanging out the joy place more so than the depressive place of life.
I struggle with this. I do want to be happy most of the time. It's not working. I believe it is in part that I have not honored my shadow emotions enough which, in turn will give my being a sense of the range of what I can feel. In other words, I need to fully experience and be in a place of sadness in order to feel happiness.
I grew up in a family whose focus was not to be happy per se. My parents worked hard to create economic security and also to raise their sons by giving us opportunities to better ourselves. We were serious in making our way through life. That meant doing a good job; whether in school, at a job, our chores. Happiness seemed like a luxury that was not even in our vocabulary.
I love to watch those movies where they burst out with song and dance, where the guy dances with his umbrella down the street in the pouring rain, where they dance out chopsticks on a toy floor piano keyboard, or those movies where the character has this unwavering optimism. Those characters I envy. There is no worrying or doubting the rightness of their lives.
I have read about the studies that in order to be happy, one must have gratitude, have strong social connections, that there is a happiness set point we are born with, and finding that activity that you can lose a sense of time in, i.e. that creative effort.
Then there is that other factor of accomplishing something that is meaningful to oneself. I only recently realized in this past decade or so. I see that even though a meaningful life does not directly equate to a happy life they are tied together. Having meaning gives depth to happiness. This is low resonance high vibrational living.
So sure, let's be happy together for I believe joy begets joy. I love to be around happy people. What I want more is that I will live a life of happiness that feeds my soul, that expresses it. And it's the other way around isn't it? If I express my soul then I can live a life of happiness, of meaning? Rather than dwelling on this chicken or egg enigma, [Edwin Hawkins Singers]I will continue to move forward in both realms. I will work on singing or at least listening to music as well as dancing, or in my case thrashing wildly with abandon. I will look for ways of expressing my soul through deep, heart-centered connections with compassion and authenticity.
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