My M.E.T.A. Introduction

I like long walks on the beach at sunset, to cuddle with a glass of good wine by the fireplace, …

No wait, wrong profile.  Here I want to share who I am to a bunch of wannabe therapists like me.  Where should I start?  What would I like to know about a person here that I’ll be sharing mindful time and energy with over the course of two years?  I would like to know why they came to take this course.  I want to know what drove them to spend the money and make the time commitment to do this.  I want to know what they plan to do with the training once they are finished.

I am in the Comprehensive Program because I want to be a counselor in some form.  I chose M.E.T.A. because of the hands-on, experiential approach to the training.  This is a leap-of-faith career shift for me.  The short answer why I am pursuing this is because if just feels right and that events in my life have pushed me over this cliff in making this radical decision after years of searching, investigating, pondering, meditating, exploring, thinking, studying on what I should be doing in my life.

I feel that I have no choice (not really true for we always have a choice) but to enter into this training.   I feel that I have no more time to hesitate, to second guess, and to be sitting on the fence on to figure out what is my life’s true path is.  I do not know exactly what form my next occupation will take after this training but I know I will be using the tools I have learned here.

What brings joy in my life?  I think I am no different than most.  The times when I share music, laughter, food and drink with those who care for me and accept me and visa versa is my primary form of joy.  I seek to co-create relationships with people who are self aware, conscious and kind.  I feel supported from such people who not only share their kindness but their whole selves.

 

I have been a avid bicyclist for the past 3 years.  I have done Cycle Oregon for the past two years.  The joy I get is not the bicycling per se but being in my body and feeling the accomplishment of being fit enough to ride long distances and challenging terrain.  I feel good about myself and about my body from this. In addition, I especially love the connection I have with those I ride with.   I have made some nice friendships from this.

I believe that a barometer of our spiritual health is how much we laugh out loud.  My daughter once said that she wanted to laugh every day.  I can laugh easily at the ironies in my life.  I laugh when experience my son and daughter making gentle fun of me and if their observations of the people and world around them.

What are my strengths and what do I bring to this class to enhance our learning experience?  I am a good listener.  I believe that I have such a facility because I want the same; to be listened to without judgment, without interruption, without advice.  

I am genuinely curious about people.  I want to learn what forms their views, what they love to do, how conscious they are, how they make decisions to spend their precious time.  I am especially curious how relationships work.  I am also wanting to know how people make decisions on what kind of relationships they choose to have.

I am an accepting person who looks for the good in people and work on understanding of the why of people’s behavior.  I believe I am this way because I too want acceptance and understanding.  I embrace the mindfulness approach of being the observer and not interpreting the other’s behavior.

For a spiritual practice, I like what the Dalai Lama said, “There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.”

I acknowledge my blessings at the end of each day.  I figure that if there is just one thing I do as a spiritual practice then that should be it.  I do not meditate.  I work on being compassionate and empathetic especially for myself.  I work on being in the present moment.   

I want to be more authentic by acknowledging my shadow self and to be more bold in speaking my truth.  I want to bring all of me into my life and by pursuing my life’s purpose.  Right now, I believe that purpose is to help others and hence that is why I am in this program. 

Haiku

Wandering man in

Search of self and life’s purpose

Surprise!  It’s M.E.T.A.

 

6 Word Memoir

Fun extrovert trapped in an Asian

Sudden Change

My Mother was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer.  This was a shock because decades ago she fought and won that battle or so we thought.  She did pay a price for that temporary victory.  On separate occasions, years apart, she had two radical mastectomies.  Once when I was in grade school and the other while I was in high school.  The reasons why she disappeared for those two times in the hospital was never explained or discussed within our family.

This time there were not more battles to be fought, only a war that was to be lost.  It came when she finally moved near her only grandchild, Michael and was expecting another one.  She only got to enjoy her role as being a hands on Bachan, grandmother in Japanese for less than a year.  I had not seen her in delight in all my life so much when she was with Michael.

When she received her death sentence from her doctor, three months to live, she did not want to admit or at least talk about it.  This made it hard for me to visit her especially when the end drew near.  I was at a loss on how to be with her, what to say to her.  I used Michael as my way of comforting her by bringing him along to visit her.  I was grateful that on the day before her death Michael cheered my Mother by singing a song he learned in preschool.

My older brother lived across the country in Boston.  My Mother did not want to bother him with the news of her cancer.  I could not convince her to call.  When I made the call to inform him of our Mother's prognosis, he was shocked because from what he was told by her that it was not too bad.  When Burt realized that this was more than what Mom downplayed to him, he came out to visit.   It was striking to me on how our family related to each other when Burt's visit came to an end, he said goodbye for most likely the last time by shaking her hand before leaving to the airport.

When I finally received a call from one of my aunts who came from Pennsylvania to care for her at home, it was four in the morning.  An hour later as my two aunts and myself were sitting in the room with my forever silent mother came a loud crash and a shake on what seemed like a train hitting the house.  It was the Spring Break Quake, magnitude 5.6.  A week later my daughter Rachel was born.